Jessica Picaso Winter 08

Jessica is 32, Mathew is 32, Rose is 5, Lola is 2

Can you say "Never saw that coming!" three times fast? Well, I just keep repeating it over and over again. Don't get me wrong I knew that my marriage was a little rocky, but who's isn't? But never in a million years did I think that my husband would cheat on me.



He says he feels bad about it. But I can't help but wonder if he really does. If I had never seen it with my own eyes, and he hadn't been caught would things between them gone further? I don't want to think about that.


It all started last summer when that slut, Sharla Ottamas moved in. Matt's friendship with her started out innocent enough, they played basketball together and she even watched the kids from time to time for us.

Well, you can guess my surprise when I caught him checking her out with me standing right there. Like I wouldn't notice. I slapped him on the arm. He said that he wasn't looking at her, but watching her hoop technique. Yeah, like I bought that.

Then during the end of Fall I was watching him come home from work. Matt didn't see me in the window, and Sharla was out at the mail box. She must have said something to him that was funny because he started to laugh. Then the next thing I knew they were kissing! KISSING!

I put the baby down and flew down the steps screaming at the both of them. I was so upset, I cried myself to sleep that night.



I was still mad days later, so I decided to have a work with the home wrecking hussy.


At first she was taken aback, but quickly responded by trying to insult me and why Matt would find her more attractive. She even pointed out that a make-over now really wouldn't help much, that it was only a matter of time before she had him in her bed.

I saw red then, and before I knew it I had slapped her and the rest well...

Still can't figure out how she beat me. I'm in top physical condition, being in the military and all. Maybe I'm just starting to feel my age. My pride really took a beating, not to mention my ego. I mean, my own husband, was cheering for her to win!

And then there's Rupert. He's only more fuel for the fire that's already lit. He wanted to know why a fight broke out between me and that person. And Mathew tells him because I caught them kissing. I couldn't believe the look on his face as he explained it. Jerk

Rupert countered saying that why it's better to have a woman with no attachments. Therefore there are no feelings getting hurt, and your free to do what you want with who ever you want. I just stood there in shock. Not only did I just get the snot beat out of me, but my husband was actually have a conversation about cheating with Rupert. Shouldn't he be making sure that I'm alright, not hurt or anything? I don't know what happened to our marriage.

Then, to make matters worse. He goes on to say women are like musical instruments. That's when I decided I had had enough and stormed back to my apartment. I wish the landlord would evict them all.

Shortly after the fight Rose had her 5th birthday. It wasn't anything fancy. I felt bad, but I wasn't in the mood for a celebration. So it was just me and my girls and a yummy cake. Next birthday Rose will have a wonderful party with friends and everything.

After putting the girls to bed I had had enough. Not only did he never apologize about what he did he stood there and discussed it with Rupert. I laid into Mathew, letting all of my anger out. How he betrayed me, his daughters, not caring about anyone but himself. That he lacked self respect, and was a down right jerk.

I did apologize to Amos though. I felt bad that we had fought for almost two years. And honestly, I can't remember why we even had a falling out. When we had first moved in here the both of us had gotten along wonderfully. I was happy that he accepted and we are slowly trying to mend the bridge that we destroyed between each other.

Two nights later Matt asked if we could talk. I really wasn't in the mood. I was extremely tired, from work, the girls, cleaning the house. But I decided to hear him out anyway.

He said that he realized what a jerk he'd been, that he should never had let the small attraction that he felt for Sharla get in the way. He was acting like a teenager not a married man with two children. He was sorry, very sorry and that he hoped I could forgive him.

I thought about all that he said, and I could see on his face that he meant it. But what had caused him to act on him feelings in the first place? That's what I really wanted to know. I told him that it would take time. A long time for me to ever trust him the way that I did before. He had hurt me badly and I couldn't just forgive that.

Matt agreed, but said that he would do all that he could to win back my trust and love.

I responded by a "We'll see," before heading off for bed. He could put the little ones to bed.

I had feared the worst since I still wasn't feeling very well, extreme tiredness, swollen limbs. So I went to the doctor and found out that I was pregnant! I was totally shocked. I normally know right away when I'm expecting, morning sickness and the whole 9 yards. But not this time, and I was further along than I normally am when I find out.

I hadn't shared the bed with Matt since the affair, so the pregnancy happened before all of this crap. So I'll be finding out if it's true. If babies really do fix what's broken.