12 Steps

October, Fall 2009, Mathew Picaso is 35, Samantha is 34, Rose is 8, Lola is 4 and, Becca is 1




Rose was still very excited about school. She had started the 4th grade and now was considered one of the "upper" class men at Riverdale Elementary. She also liked the newly built school, it still smelled of fresh paint and plaster, and all the the desks, books, chalk boards were all new. And the best part was the new playground equipment. All the children enjoyed recces.

But the topic of conversation that cool Tuesday morning was that fact that one of the kindergartners peed themselves on the playground. Rose didn't find it too funny, but her friends did.

Samantha could relate to the small child. Carrying around an increasingly heavy baby was causing her to run to the bathroom 6 times a day. And that was before noon. She couldn't wait until she had this baby.



About an hour after Rose had left for school Samantha went into labor. The news delivery guy just happened to be placing the news on their door step and heard the moaning coming from inside, he opened the door without thinking and rushed to Samantha's aid.

It wasn't Mathew, but she was glad to have someone with her until the ambulance arrived.



Lola was in her room playing when she heard her mom scream out in pain. It made her curious and she waddled out to see just what was going on.

She had no idea that her mom was about to have a baby, but she knew something wasn't right with mommy. She was in pain. Lola plopped down onto the floor and began to cry.



Samantha returned from the hospital with little Becca. She was beautiful and healthy, getting her parents brown eyes, and her dad's brown hair.

Mathew watched as Samantha put the little one down for her nap. As he surveyed the tiny room he realized that this apartment was just too small for his growing family. Even if this was their last child, they needed the extra room.

He voiced his concerns to Samantha, who agreed. But she reminded him that they didn't have the finance to buy a home, not with owning the grocery store, and Mathew working an extra job to make ends meet.

But they needed to room, and they both decided that they would look into seeing if they qualified for a mortgage to get a house.




With the birth of his third daughter Mathew was over joyed that Samantha finally forgave him for his past transgression. He told her every moment that he got how sorry he truly was, and how much he loved his wife.

Samantha assured him that he was truly forgiven and that she trusted him. But she wasn't being truthful to herself. If she admitted it to herself she really was nervous about her husband, about Sharla and what had happened between them. She was scared to death that he would go back to her, or worse yet, find someone younger, in better shape, with no kids to sleep it.

She just wished that she knew someone she could talk to about the affair. She needed closure with herself and her feelings. She was certain that she would never be able to fully trust her husband again.



Between all the apologizing, Mathew did his best to help around the house. Now that Samantha had her hands full with three little ones, it was the least he could do.



And when he arrived home from the military, he would head down to Shop n' Fresh to put in a few hours there.

Rose found it hard to be a big sister. Between playing with Lola, and doing her home work and, trying to complete her bug collection...

Rose was exhausted.

Samantha could feel that she was burning the wick at both ends. She was hardly getting 5 hours of sleep at night, and hardly any naps during the day. Lola needed attention when Becca was sleep. Becca needed attention when she was woke. Not to mention potty training Lola and teaching her to talk. Which wasn't turning out so well.

Samantha tried to get her to say "Mama," but Lola didn't want to. She tried to get her to say "Dada," but that didn't hold Lola's attention either.

It wasn't until she had asked her daughter if she wanted a "baba," for lunch. That was a word that Lola wanted to say, and she did, over and over again.

Samantha was over joyed. Lola was speaking!

And finally, Samantha got a moment to herself.