For Whom the Bell Tolls

September, Fall 2012, Trant Traveller is 50, Trisha is 48, Sofia is 7. Tina Traveller is 24.
(I might be off by a year or two with Trant and Trisha. I forgot to write down their ages and I thought I had it noted in my notes before hand.)





Trant sits and stares at the plant on the dinning room table.






He looks long and hard at it. Contemplating it's existence. He's existence. Every one's existence. Life is so short. So fleeting. One moment you are here and then next, you're not.


Edward Christian's death is still fresh in his mind, and Trant just can't shake the over whelming feeling that it has caused him. He and Eddie were friends, and the man's sudden death and just how short life actually is has sent Trant into a depression of sorts.

Which causes Trisha all sorts of headaches. Now her focus has turned from her eldest child, Tina, to her husband. This depression has her so very worried. Trant was never the one to let anything slow him down. But losing a close friend has crawled up under his skin and it refuses to let go. She finished making the bed and heads off to find her husband.

Sunday evening finally comes around and Trisha is busy preparing dinner, wanting to get everything done before Tina arrives.

But she's early, wanting to check in on her dad. To spend some time with him, to pull him out of this slump.

"Dad, you really don't look to hot. Why not try something new? Do something that you've always wanted to do."

"I'm find, you should worry about me." He tells her. They both sand out on the porch for long moments before heading inside.

"Life is like one long picture show. Once your reel is up then it's time for your final curtain call."

Trisha's face turns grim. "What have I told you about talking like this around Sofia?"

Trant hardly pays her any ind as he continues to discuss just how short life truly is.

Sofia hates when he parents fight. They never used to fight, but the auguring started a few months back and it's seems to be getting worse by the day. Suddenly she doesn't feel so hungry anymore.

Tina is glad that she has her own home to head back to, she can no longer stomach the bickering either.

She hugs her dad good bye and kisses her mom on the check, thanking her for dinner. She promised that she'll be back next Sunday, because it's tradition, and then leaves.

Trisha cleans up the dinner plates her eyes traveling to Trant. He's in his normal spot after dinner, the dinning room window. He stands there staring. Most of the time it's at nothing. Sometimes it will be a few kids playing between the houses on their block. She returns to cleaning up. She wishes he would go see someone, maybe even get on some medication, but he refuses.

And there he stands. He'll be here for a few hours. Nothing is out here to hold his attention, it's just strangely comforting to him.

When Trant isn't gazing out the dinning room window he's poking around in the fire place. The dancing of the flames mesmerizes him.

Trisha manages to grab his attention long enough to start a conversation. "I'm worried about you, honey. I really think you should look into seeing someone about your depression."


Trant shrugs. He doesn't want to be bothered with going to the doctor's to discuss his feelings, and he doesn't want to be doped up on drugs either.





So he goes on with life, dragging himself out of bed in the wee hours of the morning to head off to work. Sometimes he wonders what his family would do if he never returned from work. What if he slipped and drowned in the water? What if his oxygen tank stopped working? So many things could happen out in the ocean and just like that he would no longer exist.




Trisha has been so focused on her husband that this months bills slipped her mind and the repo man showed up to collect.




And when Trant gets home he has even more bad news; he's been demoted. His boss told him he's losing his focus, which is true. He doesn't fight the demotion, he only accepts it. Why fight? It wastes too much energy.




He stands in the door way connecting the garage to the house, staring at Trisha. Trant wonders what he's done to deserve a woman like her?


He knows that he's being unruly, but he just can't bring himself to care. This who being consumed with death is starting to get old. It's effecting his home life, his career, his children. But the change he needs to make is just out of reach.







He does try to spend more time with Sofia though. Which makes the little girl very happy.







He takes her to the newly built park up the street from their house. She finds an abandoned kit and quickly picks it up. She runs around with if following behind her for a while before an evening breeze sweeps it up into the air.

Trant isn't sure if it was watching his young daughter play and enjoy life instead of sitting around and counting down the days until life is over, but he finds himself actually in the mood again. Trisha isn't objecting since it's been a long time since he's shown any interest. They quickly put Sofia to bed before retiring for the night themselves.

***

Title is from Metallica's For Whom the Bell Tolls. I don't think the song really goes with the post but I liked the title anyway. ;)

So Trant got the depressed ROS. He hasn't fully snapped out of his little depression but he is getting better. I think he knew he was supposed to be depressed. I have Free Will on and he actually did just stand there gazing out the window for the longest time. I had to finally direct him to do something else or he might have stayed there until bed time.