And I feel this big

April, Spring 2012, Anya Kent is 36 and Tony is 3.5 years old. Last updated winter 2008.(Rupert Cotton is 32 and Tynisha Corbin is 34)


Narrated by Anya Kent


When I came home from work Tony was outside to greet me. I was a bit shocked since the nanny was no where to be seen. I mean, what am I paying her for if she's not properly watching my son? But I didn't stress over it, she soon appeared off the side of the house and, Tony was having so much fun trying to catch a few butterflies.





My new boss, Tynisha Corbin, came home with me. I'm excited to be working for her. She seems like someone I can get a long with. Once I introduced her to Tony she asked me if I was married.


Glancing at my finger she changed the question to divorced. I told her no that I haven't had the pleasure of being married yet. That Tony's dad and I were just friends. We have a somewhat creative relationship.




She didn't seem to thrilled by the answer and suggested that maybe I stop by the worship hall one day and sit with her husband. Like I need to speak to the pastor. She excused herself after that, and I hate to say it but I was glad that she had. She made me feel bad about myself. Like having relations outside of marriage was something bad. Heck, it's normal. But I just couldn't shake the feeling of being dirty after that.





I put Tony down for his nap after that. I though at about firing the nanny, but she's cheap, way cheaper than other nannies in Riverdale. And on a teacher's salary I need all the cheapness I can get.





Rupert came over later. And there's one thing I can say about Rupert. He may not be the commitment type. Heck, any woman with a head on her shoulder knows that he's only after one thing. (I wish I knew this sooner.) But don't let anyone tell you that he's not a good father. He's been here with Tony since he was born. Rupert adores his son.





And Tony adores his daddy. And I'm happy. I want my son to have a good relationship with his father.




His visits always end like this. I keep telling myself every time we do it that that time will be the last time, but it isn't. It makes me so mad, sleeping with Rupert got me in the situation that I'm in now.


But I can't help it. He's like my drug. I'm addicted to him. But I'm serious, this time is the last time. I need to stand up for myself. I deserve better than just being some guy's baby's mama.





A week later and I still couldn't shake the way Tynisha made me feel. It doesn't help that I have to see her at work everyday either. But in a way I think it's good that I do feel bad. Maybe I will go talk to Pastor Corbin. I've been treated like a doormat for far too long. I need to get my life on track. Rupert isn't going to be with me. And I need to make myself better not only for me, but for Tony as well.




The weather is changing. It's starting to get warmer by the day, and I really need to follow through on my decision. I need to call Pastor Corbin. I'm proud of myself. After Rupert's last visit, I told him that we wouldn't be sleeping together anymore. Not surprisingly, he was okay with that. Told me he'd be back to see Tony in two days.

So why do I still feel so dirty inside?





But just one look into my son's eyes and I know I'm doing the right thing. I need to start thinking about both of us. He's growing so fast and I'm not getting any younger. I want to provide a stable home for the both of us. I just hope it's not to late for me to find "Mr. Right," if he even exists. Have I wasted too much time waiting for Rupert to come around?

***

notes from GB: As always not much happened in this house. Anya has always been a bit plan. She only went after Rupert all those years ago because he showered her with attention until she gave it up to him. In truth she and Amos got along way better, and they were headed for something until she slept with Rupert. After that Amos turned his wants towards Nita. I can't help but to think Anya's life would have been so much better if she had stayed with Amos. *sigh*

So she's getting older and she's rolled the fear of getting old and never been married, she's a pleasure/family sim. I hope she'll be able to find love soon. I might have to give her a small push in the right direction. Even though I don't have anyone in mind. I'm glad she's over Rupert finally. *yay* So that will help with her finding someone else.

And no matter what Anya talked about with Tynisha she would yawn and look at her nails. So I figured they don't get along at all. LOL It's to bad too. I thought they would make good friends.